on our way to 2012

Half-way there

2009-05-03T00:33:00.002-04:00

I am still in utter disbelief. Complete, encompassing, disbelief. How has time gone by so fast? It seems like just yesterday I started this blog as I began my freshman year in college. I still remember writing the blog that ended freshman year. The blog that began sophomore year; that ended sophomore year; that began third year. Third year is finished - its over. No second chances, no time to change anything.

As always, I had another amazing year. I have my awesome friends to thank for that. Each year, we all grow more and more. I have grown so much. I have learned so much. We are all really coming into ourselves.

I still feel like I just got here. Each memory from this past school year is still fresh in my mind. Starting clinical skills. Being so worried about the clinical skills exam. Karaoke in November. A week of finals insanity in December. The Soiree at Pine in January. The start of 21st birthday celebrations. Starting thereapy. Karaoke and a crazy party at Veraaj's in February before spring break. Hetal's 21st. My 21st. Becca's 21st. All within 3 weeks. Going out and celebrating our 21-ness. Blackened chicken sandwiches on pita with yogurt from Ahmed's.

It's becoming harder and harder to let go. There are especially a few people here who I will have the most trouble saying good-bye to. I don't know if I will be able to do it. We have two more years of classes, and a year of rotations. There is still a significant amount of time left, but it's going faster and faster....

There is one person who has always made me smile. You will always mean a lot to me. I hope our friendship just continues to grow. You can count on me for anything.

Let us drink to another great year. I love you all.

the Return of an Era

2008-09-03T00:06:00.002-04:00

While the six years began two years ago, they are quickly continuing, days weaving in and out at speeds I would have never imagined. Summer was a blur. Starting biochemistry the third week of May simply felt like a continuation of second year - like I had never left. The week between the end of second year classes and the beginning of biochemistry was one of the worst times I have ever felt. Spending every day with people, and then not having that anymore, leaves a strong impression on you, especially when there are people you may never see again. With only 6 weeks of class, biochemistry came and went like the wind.

Once I started working at CVS, I lost sense of time, and summer passed in the blink of an eye. Before I knew it, August had come. I spent a lot of time commuting back and forth from Eddystone to Philadelphia, trying to prepare the house for the upcoming move-in. Hours were spent working, commuting, trying to gain valuable time with friends from home.

Then I woke up one morning. In Philadelphia. On the first day officially in the house. Things started happening. As everyone started moving into their respective Philadelphia homes, I got the chance to re-unite with so many great friends I had made in the two previous years.

Memories are already being created. Every year I think, this cannot possibly get any better. Yet somehow, it does. I get to experience things every day that I would probably never get to experience had I stayed home and commuted; had I gone to another school; had I never lived in Osol second year. We could be doing absolutely nothing but sitting in the dining room and talking, yet it means so much to me. I do appreciate the little things; I have most definitely learned this in the past two years. Looking in retrospect, I have definitely seen myself mature in a multitude of ways.

To honor our commitment and hardwork, we will be given our white coats. What does this mean? We are third years. We are first-professional year students who have fought to stay in; who have sacrificed countless hours of sleep to study. We are adults who are taking on new responsibilities. We are friends; we are competitors; we are desiging our future. It's right out in front of us, and I will not hesitate to dive right in.

It's not over

2008-04-30T18:54:00.002-04:00

This past year has been, in a word, fabulous. Similar to the end of school last year, this is a blog to commemorate the year. It's interesting to contrast it to the one from last year. I'll start from the beginning.

A second year of pharmacy school has finished, and I made it. I didn't fail out, I'm still here. I'll be starting third year next August, the beginning of my professional years. Friday night is going to be my last sleep in Osol 245, Suite 240. What a year. My initial impression when the year started in August was that it was going to be a good one, but I don't think I could have predicted all that I have been blessed with and all that I have learned and experienced.

I have come to: appreciate other cultures, try so many new things, learn not to judge people, have exceptional patience, get completely drunk, be the white girl with the big butt who can dance, learn some Gujarati, study more than I ever thought possible, love karaoke, express myself more, be so much more thankful for what I have, and make amazing friends who I could never forget and who have gotten me through this year.

Next year I am living in a house - a HOUSE! It's a great house, and the people I'll be living there with are even greater. I'm not sure if a house full of 6 girls can compare to a tiny suite full of 9 girls, but I know it will live up to my expectations and more. And still nothin' wrong with being the only white girl....

Friday we are going to have a water balloon fight in the quad in the afternoon after the microbiology exam, and that night we're going order-in and spend the night talking and of course laughing.

This summer I'm going to be taking biochemistry from May 12 - June 26, and eventually moving into the house as well as working as much as possible. I'm going to miss this so much, but at the same time I'm looking forward to the coming years because it is only going to get better.

I have to dedicate this to the twenty-and-up who have made this year so memorable. It just wouldn't have been the same without you.

What are we fighting for?

2007-10-03T21:07:00.000-04:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21107443/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20297263/

Can we please stop with the wars and the weapons and all of this bull shit? Seriously. How many more young men and women are our governments looking to kill? Maybe it's naive to wish that diplomacy would fix everything, and I realize that in this world it can not. But could we at least give it a try?

42nd Street

2007-09-21T01:51:00.000-04:00

Lucky. Or privileged. I'm not sure which word would describe it more, but that's how I'm feeling. It seems as if everyday I realize more and more just how amazing life can be if you're looking to see the good sides of it. I've realized there are so many things to smile about everyday, even if they are just simple things. Everyday I smile either because I'm thinking about something I'm lucky to have, or because I'm laughing about something one of my amazing friends or family members has said. There are a million things I could list here, and I'm not sure why it has taken me 19 years to figure this all out, and I've probably still got miles to go. But I know this for sure: when I'm walking down 42nd street back to Osol, I realize that I have a hell of a lot more than the man who is walking by me in tattered clothes, or the child who is being walked by his teenage mother. And I need to be thankful for that - we all do. I've finally learned to appreciate it all. From the Nike's I wear on my feet, to the sweatshirts that keep me warm, to the education I get everyday, and the people that love me, I am very, very privileged. Perhaps this is why religion is taught - I don't know for sure. But having been a Catholic for a number of years and knowing basic concepts behind other religions, I can see that it is obvious that many religious teachings are there to encourage people to be grateful for what they have. Maybe some people need religion and God to point that out for them. I don't. All I needed was time, a little maturity, and a walk down 42nd street to show me that not everyone shares the privileges I do.

"Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued."

-Socrates

Feeling Loved

2007-09-17T01:18:00.000-04:00

I am so enormously thankful for all of the people in my life. Especially, and most importantly, my family and friends. When things come up in life, that may or may not be such a big deal but could make life worrisome anyway, there are people that I know I will always be able to count on. Whether it is for a ride, for support, or just for the reminder that somehow things will always turn out okay. From my girls back home to the girls who I live with, I love you all, and nothing could express my eternal gratitude more for your everlasting abilities to always make me smile except for me to always attempt in earnest to return the favor.

Beach Chair

2007-09-10T01:54:00.000-04:00

I had quite a productive day and before I go to bed, I felt like getting a little philosophical with you. I hope no one reads this as me being disrespectful, because it is truly not intended that way. It is just my own opinion and my own perspective.

From the album "Kingdom Come" by legendary rapper and hip-hop artist Jay-Z comes a song not about big pimpin' or spendin' cheese, but rather about life. "Beach Chair," featuring Coldplay's Chris Martin, makes for an interesting listen, especially if the lyrics are carefully paid attention to. One of the most meaningful parts of the song, to me at least, is when Jay-Z says "Sure books can guide you/But your heart defines you." I find this so significant because I don't believe enough people listen to their hearts and what they truly want. And as the Agnostic I claim to be, I believe that people listen too much to the book of all books, the one and only Holy Bible.

It's just a book. There's plenty of them out there. Yet billions of people across the globe, all shapes, sizes, and colors, guide their life according to this book. What's so special about this book? According to many religions, it is the word of God (I usually don't capitalize this word since I find no meaning in it, but I'll do this out of respect for others). Well, who is God? Good question, 'cause I've been asking that for a long time now. Does he exist? I have no idea. Is there proof he exists? No. You might say, "Have a little faith." I get that lecture from my mom all the time I bring up the existence of God. Well I've got plenty of faith in things I know exist, but God isn't one of them.

Hundreds of years ago, maybe the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries, the church was all-ruling. Everyone obeyed the church's laws, and whoever did not was severely punished. With the church in place, there was a sense of order. There was the Pope and other clergymen at top, next came royalty, then servants, then peasants (1). That isn't as detailed as it could be, but it gets my point across. Translate that to today's society: the Pope would be able to overrule the likes of President Bush and British PM Gordon Brown, and I would be considered a lowly peasant. Well I am certainly not a peasant, and there is no way George Bush would allow any one to rule above him. Nonetheless, the church was in place because it encouraged uniformity as well as it scared servants and peasants into listening to God's word, which was and/or is supposedly contained within this book.

Let's go back to Jay-Z's lyric Books can guide you. Well, it's true. I get guidance from books everyday: how to draw isomers in organic chemistry, what a tubal pregnancy is in anatomy, et cetera, et cetera. But guess what - when it comes to what I want to do, how I feel, what my opinions are, there should be no book telling me those things. Yet such a book exists, and it exists within the bible. I should be honest and say that I have never read the entire bible. I tried, but it wasn't working out. I do know that I shouldn't necessarily say that the bible tells us how to live our lives, but I think it suggests many things that many people believe to be true just because this book says so.

I'm going to quote a few things from the New International Version of this book, then comment on how ridiculous I think it is.

" 'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."
Do I really have to comment on this one?

5 They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."

6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."
Oh, that's nice. Let the men practically rape your daughters but spare the other men. Also, these men want to have sex with other men, yet the passage above this says that if two men have sex, they both shall be killed. Somebody didn't proof read.

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

2 Now the earth was ^[a] formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
Well if formless and empty, where did the water come from? And who created God?

There are many more points I could make, but unfortunately I have physics tomorrow.

Does God explain physics? No, science does.

Sources:
(1) http://www.middle-ages.org.uk/feudalism-pyramid.htm
http://www.biblegateway.com

Dans la ville avec mes amies

2007-09-08T01:27:00.001-04:00

Rittenhouse Square was beautiful tonight.

I was going to write about our night in the city, the pictures we took, the places we went. But then I realized if I wrote about it, I would ruin it. And I've already ruined enough things for myself to know to just let this one go.

But, I don't always let everything go that easily.

I think I've realized my problem

2007-09-04T21:27:00.000-04:00

So I think I've realized my problem when it comes to boys. Due to my obsessive compulsive nature, as well as tendency to be paranoid about everything, I have come to the following conclusions.

This is what happens when I start to like a boy.

1) I have no interest at all. There's a little crush maybe, but nothing serious that makes me feel crazy inside.
2) I go through a thinking process. Many many thoughts go through my head as I work things out and think things through.
3) I'm interested. I want him. I need him. Oh baby, oh baby. And this step seems to last longer than it should.

With my luck, nothing happens, so I end up stuck in stage 3. Well, right now I'm in stage 3. I want him. We'll see what happens. And with my luck...............

Hands Held High

2007-09-01T01:45:00.000-04:00

There's a lot to be said about the past week of school, 99% good things. One of them is I saw Linkin Park in concert. I'm too tired to write much right now and elaborate and debate, but if you can, find the following song, listen to it, read the lyrics, let it sink in. Goodnight.

Hands Held High

turn my
mic up louder i got to say something
lightweights step it aside when we come in
feel it in your chest / the syllables get pumping
people on the street they panic and start running
words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
i jump in my mind and summon the rhyme i'm dumping
healing the blind i promise to let the sun in
sick of the dark ways we march to the drum and
jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
fuck that / i wanna see some fists pumping
risk something / take back what's yours
say something that you know they might attack you for
cause i'm sick of being treated like i have before
like it's stupid standing for what i'm standing for
like this war's really just a different brand of war
like it doesn't cater to rich and abandon poor
like they understand you in the back of the jet / when you
can't put gas in your tank / and these fuckers are
laughing their way to the bank / cashing the check
asking you to have compassion / have respect
for a leader so nervous in an obvious way
stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay
and the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
in their living room laughing like
what did he say

in my living room watching / i am not laughing / cause
when it gets tense i know what might happen
the world is cold / the bold men make action
have to react or get blown into fractions
ten years old / it's something to see / another
kid my age drugged under a jeep
taken and bound / and found later under a tree
i wonder if he had thought the next one could be me
do you see / the soldiers / they're out today they
brush the dust from bulletproof vests away
it's ironic / at times like this you pray
but a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday
there's bombs on the busses / bikes / roads
inside your market / your shops / your clothes / my dad
he's got a lot of fear i know
but enough pride inside not to let that show
my brother had a book he would hold with pride
a little red cover with a broken spine
on the back / he hand wrote a quote inside:
"when the rich wage war it’s the poor who die"
and meanwhile / the leader just talks away
stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay
the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like
what did he say

with hands held high into a sky so blue
as the ocean opens up to swallow you

with hands held high into a sky so blue
as the ocean opens up to swallow you

with hands held high into a sky so blue
as the ocean opens up to swallow you

with hands held high into a sky so blue
as the ocean opens up to swallow you

with hands held high into a sky so blue
as the ocean opens up to swallow you

with hands held high into a sky so blue
as the ocean opens up to swallow you

the End of Another Summer

2007-08-25T04:04:00.000-04:00

While one more summer of my life has ended at a speed faster than that of a chemical reaction with a rapid rate, another academic year is beginning. Though the idea of organic chemistry, lab reports, exams, and human anatomy may sound daunting to others, all of these things ground me and bring me back to the real world. In this real world there is no sleeping past 9am on most class days, with the exception of a weekend following a week of heavy work, and there is also not enough time to waste my days reveling in the complete geeky-ness and total brain-numbing-ness of the computer.

Nonetheless, as much as I thrive on last-minute assignments and late-night studies, I always miss the warm summer weather which accompanies so many monumental summer memories. Beer pong, pointlessly driving around, and lounging in the air conditioning, though not so monumental, are all included in my much beloved summer memories. Tennis games are not as frequent in the cold, and most winter days I am forced to cover up my summer tan in numerous layers so that by the time summer comes around again, I am albino-white.

Again, and not surprisingly, I can not sleep tonight. Unfortunately for me, I have work at 10am this morning. At least it is my last day at CVS - until Christmas, that is. And speaking of summer warmth, tomorrow it is supposed to reach 99 Fahrenheit. Tomorrow is not a day for tennis, not like I would have time to play, anyway....

the Pop Idols

2007-08-17T17:06:00.000-04:00

It all started in 1998 when my mom saw that video on the now-retired TV channel The Box. She thought it was the Backstreet Boys, whom I liked at the time, so she made sure I saw it. But it wasn't BSB, and as the 10 year old fan I was, I knew that. These were the new kids on the block, singing and dancing to a song titled "I Want You Back." This was *NSYNC.

For me as for many others I am sure, seeing this video spawned an era of watching and idolizing pop stars. What is so funny about idolizing these pop stars is that the majority of my idols were usually about seven years or more older than I was. While the *NSYNC's, Britney Spears', and Backstreet Boys' of the world sang songs like "Digital Get Down," "(Hit Me) Baby One More Time," and "I'll Never Break Your Heart," respectively, I was still trying to understand the birds and the bees.

Though we loved the songs, knew all the words, and even knew the choreographed moves to many pop songs, how could so many 10-11-and-12 year olds alike truly understand what we were singing about? Maybe we giggled at lyrics like We're getting nasty, nasty/We're getting freaky deaky because we knew it was about something our parents rolled our eyes at every time we sang the words. And songs about love and affection? Many of us had never even kissed a boy yet.

Even more so, parents criticized female pop artists like Britney Spears who commented on thier virginity while they seemed to blatantly ignore songs by other females like "www.fan-ta-see," a song much like "Digital Get Down" that is clearly about cyber sex. Furthermore, a song like "Beep Beep" which may seem innocent at first, but replace the word 'beep' with 'fuck' and it isn't so innocent anymore.

original lyrics:
You can beep me any time you like
Morning, afternoon, or late at night
'Cause I know what you want, got what you need
You gotta believe me babe I got the remedy
I'll give you L to the O to the V to the E
I need your love
So why don't you beep me?

replacing 'beep' with 'fuck':
You can fuck me any time you like
Morning, afternoon, or late at night
'Cause I know what you want, got what you need
You gotta believe me babe I got the remedy
I'll give you L to the O to the V to the E
I need your love
So why don't you fuck me?

Obviously this song isn't supposed to be about using a pager to beep someone.

However, for the most part, these pop songs were clean and all in good fun. Even if we didn't know what it felt like to have someone play games with your heart, or if we immaturely laughed about 'beeping' someone, I can say for myself and a few others I know that these groups kept us out of trouble. While other kids were roaming around the neighborhood getting into fights or doing something they weren't supposed to for just a young kid, I was close in my mom's radar either listening to music, learning all of *NSYNC's dance moves with my then co-choreographer Ryan, or browsing pop star websites on the internet, I was safe, out of harm, and out of trouble.

This pop-era seemed to be a much better time to rear children in compared to today, where kids who are the age at which I used to listen to Jessica Simpson are listening to artists on the radio who sing and/or rap even more about sex, drugs, and alcohol than in years past. Considering this I think many of us will agree to say that a homosexual Lance Bass is a more positive influence on young kids than a high or drunken Snoop Dogg singing about doggy-style.

Jael Strauss

2007-08-11T02:42:00.000-04:00

Jael was a contestant on "America's Next Top Model." After making it to the bottom 5, Jael was eliminated after showing her poor CoverGirl commercial skills. Nonetheless, she remains my favorite girl of all the cycles. Looking on her MySpace today, I saw in her blog a link to an article she wrote. There is something she wrote I want to share because it makes a lot of sense.

One thing the show did address was that I am half white, half black. In my eyes, I am very fortunate to be mixed. I feel that I relate to a lot of different cultures. Therefore, I have grown up being free from prejudice. Being that I identify with so many different people, at times it’s actually has left me feeling like I don’t it fit in with anyone. It has forced me to search more for my individuality, rather than searching to fit.

I hope people stop separating themselves from one another and realize that we all bleed red blood.

Rich, poor, white, black, Christian, Jewish, gay, straight…We all need love. We are all equal, as long as we put forth energy in the growth and prosperity of our world.

This is really a smart statement.

Think about it.

Goodnight.

oh what the hell

2007-08-08T03:10:00.000-04:00

school is in like, less than a month, and i'm still not falling asleep until 4am! this schedule is NOT gonna work out during the school year. what the hell...... fucking eh...........

the Art of Sleep

2007-08-03T04:14:00.000-04:00

The art of sleep does not come easily to me. It is quarter after four in the morning and I feel sick and I can not sleep. All I want to do is fall asleep right now.

I played tennis yesterday, with Kim of course. The courts were full and I was happy to see them that way. Granted, I saw a dad and his two boys out there with racquetball rackets, but at least they were attempting tennis. We played a set. It is so much easier to play after five, at a time when I am actually able to breathe. I even start to feel good after I get going - that is how tennis should always feel: when the ball feels so good coming off the racket, and you don't have to put in all your energy just to make one shot.

I'm working all this weekend, the 4th-6th, then the 8th and 9th. I should probably tell Sally soon when my last day will be. I'm applying for a desk job at USP for during the school year. The pay starts off at more than minimum wage and it will be some money as well as something else to keep busy with.

I'm going to read a little and see if that will help me fall asleep. Good luck to me.

JM Live

2007-07-22T16:37:00.000-04:00

Friday night. July 20 2007. Tweeter Center. John Mayer in concert. For the third time.

James Morrison started the show around 7:30. The only song I know of his is "You Give Me Something," so that was of course the only thing I could sing along too. His performance was short but pretty good, and I might give his CD a listen.

After James Morrison, Ben Folds took the stage. Again, I only know a few Ben Folds songs, and they didn't play any I knew. He's really great on the piano though and I am most definitely giving their stuff a good listen.

John Mayer came on around 9:30 maybe. He started off with "Bigger Than My Body," which I think was a great choice to get the crowd hyped (though we already were). Next was his first single "No Such Thing." Although it's hard to choose a favorite song from Continuum, I have to say the next song he played, "Belief," is definitely up on that list. "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)" was next, followed by my Trio favorite, "Good Love Is On the Way." Johnny went back in the past a little to a song unknown to a good portion of the crowd, "Covered In Rain." His politically-charged "Waiting On the World to Change" came next, and the crowd helped to fill in after John sings "So we keep waiting..." (then the crowd - "Waitinggg!") "...waiting on the world to change." A new song of John's that he seems to be playing at every show is "I Don't Need No Doctor," and though I couldn't sing along I liked what was presented. More Heaver Things material was added on when JM sang "Clarity," but then switched back to Continuum for a little "Vultures" goodness. The set ended with an obvious crowd-favorite, "Why Georgia," and probably his best material yet, "Gravity."

Knowing that John wasn't done entertaining us yet, he came back out to sing an acoustic version of "3x5," then an acoustic solo of "Who Did You Think I Was." He ended the show with a song he performed on Good Morning America that morning, "Crossroads."

Amazing, amazing, amazing show. I'm already waiting for when John comes back to the area. Plus, for the first time at a John Mayer concert at the Tweeter Center, it didn't rain! Us listeners on the lawn enjoyed the great weather as well as great music. Thanks, John.

Song Choice

2007-07-05T23:57:00.001-04:00

I was going through some old *NSYNC cd's the other night, and I came across a certain song. It actually made me cry because while I was listening to the song, I was thinking about my mom, and how this song explains everything she's done for me. Here it is.

You'll never know
What you've done for me
What your faith in me
Has done for my soul
You'll never know the gift you've given me
I'll carry it with me
Yeah, yeah

Through the days ahead
I'll think of days before
When you made me hope for something better
(Yes you did)
And made me reach for something more

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
Helped me hear the music of my heart
Helped me hear the music of my heart
(Yeah...)
You opened my eyes
You opened the door
To something I've never known before
(Ooh...)
And your love
(Your love)
Is the music of my heart
(Music of my heart)

You were the one
Always on my side
(Always on my side)
Always standing by
(Always standing by)
Seeing me through
You were the song that always made me sing
(Made me sing, made me sing)
I'm singing this for you
(Singing this for you babe)

Everywhere I go
I'll think of where I've been
(Think of where I've been)
And of the one who knew me better
Than anyone ever will again

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
(You taught me to fly)
Helped me to free the me inside
Helped me hear the music of my heart
Helped me hear the music of my heart
(Hey, hey, hey, hey)
You opened my eyes
You opened the door
To something I've never known before
(Before)
And your love
Is the music of my heart

What you taught me
Only your love could ever teach me
You got through when no one could reach me before
'Cause you always saw in me
All the best that I could be
It was you who set me free

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
(Me inside)
Helped me hear the music of my heart
Helped me hear the music of my heart

You taught me to run
You taught me to fly
Helped me to free the me inside
(Free the me inside)
Helped me hear the music of my heart
(Music of my heart)
Helped me hear the music of my heart
(Hey, hey, hey, hey)
You opened my eyes
You opened the door
(Opened the door)
To something I've never known before
(Never never never felt before)
And your love
Is the music of my heart

Music of my heart
The music of my heart
Is the music of...
My heart

Wassup

2007-06-24T22:44:00.000-04:00

Obviously I post on this thing so much. During the school year I just have so much more to talk about, like biology and chemistry, and how much school stresses me out and the lack of sleep I get. Well this weekend I went to my cousin's wedding. It was a lot of fun and mostly I just love seeing that side of the family, because I hardly ever see them. I have a beautiful, amazing family and I love them all.

I actually don't have much else to say. Wimbledon starts tomorrow, and I'm supposed to go hit with Kim tomorrow. I hardly get to hit anymore because no one really plays, so I need to find a few more hitting partners. I just bought a visor, hahaha, like the dork I am. It's good for sunny tennis days.

I'm going to the shore in about two weeks like I do annually with my sister and grandmom and aunt and cousins, etc.

I miss school. I really do. I love the challenge it presents to me on a daily basis. Even though there's lots of sleepless nights, too many exams to study for, and more thinking involved then is naturally possible, I love it. I love the people there, I love my classes, and I love what I'm there for. I'm so excited to start my second year. Next year is the white coat ceremony!!!! I get my own white pharmacist coat embroidered with "Philadelphia College of Pharmacy" and a pin. I'll be so proud of myself, since it is the beginning of my professional years! :)

This is a random blog.

Oh, and I'm saving money to get a tattoo on my back. Not my lower back though, but a few inches under my neck. I need ideas for it though :\ Give me ideas.

GEAR!

2007-05-16T01:06:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty bored and so I just felt like putting up my tennis gear since I am obsessed with the damn sport anyway.

Wilson nCode n5 OS

Wilson US Open Sling Backpack

Yonex Super Grap Overgrip

Gamma Shockbuster Vibration Dampener

Wilson NXT 16 String

I'm really looking to find a new string though, something that would generate more power and spin. When I got the n5 it just came with this string. I can't wait to get out on the courts again...my favorite place to be.

All I wanted just sped right past me

2007-05-04T01:25:00.000-04:00

Shit, son. One year of pharmacy school finished. Tonight will be my last sleep in Goodman 1o9. Damn. This is crazy. I'm sad that I'm leaving but excited to get four whole months of summer in! Some people I just really started talking to towards the end of the second semester. But I'm not worrying, 'cause I've got five long years head to get to know them. But wow, if one year can go this fast, how fast are the next five gonna go? I don't want to know, haha.

Next year in Osol is going to be so much fun. I'll be the token white girl but that doesn't bother me at all. When people hear that they kind of think of it was a negative thing, but I don't think of it that way at all - I think it's the complete opposite. I think it's so cool and something that most people don't get to experience.

Anyway, tonight was a lot of fun. There was 15 of us at the Marathon Grill, and then some of us went to Starbucks. But it was the walk to Starbucks that was most entertaining. Posing on the "faux" LOVE sign and popping our heads out of buttons, haha, the pictures for that will be great. I'm really looking forward to starting second year!!!!!!!

Peace!

Bio thought of the day

2007-05-01T04:04:00.000-04:00

I was completing the extra credit assignment, the last I will completely for general biology, and here is what I came across.

From Matt Ridley's Genome.
Chromosome 9: Disease

Now consider a bizarre discovery that would have made little sense before the discovery of the association between susceptibility to cholera and blood groups. If, as a professor, you ask four men and two women to wear a cotton T-shirt, no deodorant and no perfume, for two nights, then hand these T-shirts to you, you will probably be humored as a mite kinky. If you then ask a total of 121 men and women to sniff the armpits of these dirty T-shirts and rank them according to attractiveness of smell, you will be considered, to put it mildly, eccentric. But true scientists should not be embarrassable. The result of exactly such an experiment, by Claus Wederkind and Sandra Furi, was the discovery that men and women most prefer (or least dislike) the body odor of members of the opposite sex who are most different from them genetically. Wederkind and Furi looked at MHC genes on chromosome 6, which are the genes involved in the definition of self and the recognition of parasitic intruders by the immune system. They are immensely variable genes. Other things being equal, a female mouse will prefer to mate with a male that has maximally different MHC genes from herself, a fact she discerns by sniffing his urine. It was this discovery that alerted Wederkind and Furi to the possibility that we, too, might retain some such ability to choose our mates on the basis of their genes. Only women on the contraceptive pill failed to show a clear preference for different MHC genotypes in male-impregnated T-shirt armpits. But then the pill is known to affect the sense of smell. As Wederkind and Furi put it, 'No one smells good to everybody; it depends on who is sniffing whom.'

Isn't it really interesting to think that maybe the men and women we find ourselves attracted to have a genome is that is completely different from ours? It explains so much, really, as Ridley continues. Genetic variability is important to evolution and natural selection, and as a species, natural selection aka differential survival and reproduction is, as Dr. Mostrom puts it, "the name of the game."

We could stretch this in a sociological perspective here. (Bear with my sarcasm/late night brainstorming). If we are looking for a genome that is very different to ours, perhaps this is the reason that us independent, smart women seem to find these lazy, stupid men. We could even go so far to say that this is the reason the good girls always want the bad boys. And the reason those really sexy guys sometimes pick the most horrifying girls to go out? Genetic variability, of course.

Good night, good luck (to me on my biology final).

And if you are my genetic opposite and would like to mate, but you're attractive, intelligent, and enjoy playing tennis, just like me, look me up. (Haha).

Well-said, JM

2007-04-27T02:18:00.000-04:00

from johnmayer.com

(NOT) WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE - ENTRY NO. 1

(Preface: Don't get turned off from reading this by any pre-conceived notions you have about the subject matter. I'll make you a deal. When something I write turns you off, then you can click the "x" button and go about your day.)

A year ago this month I wrote a song called "Waiting on the World to Change", in which I tried to express the feelings of helplessness that come with knowing what needs to change in the world but also knowing the futility of trying.

Since that song has been released, there has been one social issue I've kept particularly focused on, silently keeping notes in my mind about what needs to be fixed (and more constructively, how to go about fixing it) while hoping that someone else sharing my exact views would carry out the work without my ever getting involved.

Hey, I'm just being honest.

I'm talking about (see preface!) global warming. Wait! Don't move the mouse. Finger down. Please. Just give me a second. You can watch that video of a cat playing the piano in a few minutes. I just may surprise you with what I'm going to say.

In the "degree of difficulty" column, reversing the effects of global warming is a .5 out of a possible 10, at least in theory. You just get back by reversing the way you came. No accounting for a volatile political world stage, or clashing of belief structures. Just throw this bitch in reverse and we're home.

The trouble is, nobody has managed to come close to bringing this issue to you in a way that doesn't turn you off. At best, it's a bore, and at worst (toilet paper square accounting?) it's insulting to human autonomy.

It seems to me that when it comes to this issue, we've been given only two sides to pick from: side one says the future of global warming does not present a doomsday scenario, almost chuckling the matter aside. Side two says it is a dire issue (which it is), and then goes on to inundate side one with so many separate nakedly-scientific points that they make naivete' seem cozy by comparison.

So here I am, introducing a third side. A laid-back, panic free approach to environmentalism. One that believes the message of "An Inconvenient Truth" is sound, but that it's an incredibly un-fun name for a movie. A side free from the cry of hypocrisy, for it doesn't make sweeping promises. A side that drives an SUV on the way to the grocery store but then produces nylon mesh bags at the checkout line. A side that believes in bringing a change of perspective to our government but letting Carl Rove finish his meal first.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Fans and Friends, I submit to you a third way: Light Green.

No thinking about "offsetting your carbon footprint". No rallies. No brow-beating people who think the Earth just has a fever. Pick one thing to change this year, and keep the rest of your life the same. After all, the only message the charts with escalating red lines are meant to send is that the red lines have to stop escalating, not that hey have to drop to the bottom of the graph by next Tuesday.

Part of the Light Green approach will be the (attempted) introduction of products that are cheap, easy alternatives to cut down on plastics. In the next 90 days I'm going to see how many of these products I can get produced. If it works, great. If not, you'll at least have blogs to read. I'm going to make this one of the focus points of my blog for the next few months., and hopefully by summer there will be a few items at the merchandise stands that you might not have a problem switching to.

And to anybody ready to cut me down for this, here's my full disclosure: I drive a Porsche SUV, I still drink lots of bottled water, and I will be flying private charter several times during my summer tour. However, my bus has been converted to Bio-Diesel, and I'll be coming up with even more ways to adapt to the Light Green mentality before I set out for the summer.

Now go watch that guy getting nailed in the balls on YouTube, but think about it. It's all you've got to do in order to go Light Green.

A little ditty about my math exam

2007-04-26T18:22:00.001-04:00

Before closing my eyes for the night (or morning?) I glanced at the clock.  Through the dark I could see the red numbers, and they told me it was 5:00 AM.  Just when I hoped I would be going to bed by.  The next thing I knew, I heard the familiar lyrics to JT's "My Love" as my phone alarm went off.  I knew it was 8:45 AM, that was when my alarm was set for.  Just under four hours of sleep.  My head hurt from lack of sleep but I knew what had to be done.  Some incredible force willed me out of my bed and into the bathroom where I washed up.  I dressed and got breakfast.  As much as I hate the food here, I always looks forward to the  bacon and hash browns.  I could consume mountains of hash browns, they're so amazing.  I returned to my room, ate, checked a few things on the internet.  The newest episode of ANTM was up!  But I couldn't watch it.  I had a math project to finish and studying to do.  I got to it, and at 10:45 left to take my exam.

I still can't figure out what exactly it was that got me out of bed this morning.  The drive to want to do well on the exam?  But I don't remember consciously thinking that.  It was something more along the lines of, "Sarah, you've gotten about 10 hours of sleep in the past week, put your head down!"  And still I got out of bed, as much as it hurt to.  I'm glad I did, and I feel it was worth staying up til 5am.  Though I couldn't have done it had I not drank a 20oz Pepsi and if I didn't have the internal-clock of some nocturnal being.  I think I did well on the exam, and that's what counts.  Sleep can always come later.

Finding myself?

2007-04-21T00:48:00.000-04:00

I don't know if that's what this is. I'm really not sure anymore. There was a point in my life, I guess sometime in 7th grade in middle school, and I wasn't sure of who I was. I thought I had found that out. I thought that when I graduated high school I knew who I was. Guess I was kinda wrong. Or, just, wrong. This isn't even something I feel like my family or friends could understand. It's only something I can say to myself inside, or somebody I don't know at all, like a psychologist.

There's so many things going on here I think. I was so sure about things...and then all this other stuff hit me. It was like, whoa...where did these feelings come from? I feel almost disappointed in myself, like I should know this all by now. I don't even have the confidence to confront these feelings head-on.

I just...feel like crap. I need hugs.

Burdens

2007-04-12T02:48:00.001-04:00

I'm struggling with so many things in my mind right now.  Thoughts that I try to suppress and pessimistic views I try to keep out.  The more I look at things, the more I question them.  School, life in general, etc.  I hope being 19 isn't this hard for the whole next year, unless maybe life is just going to be this hard from here on out.  There's so many things looming over my head right now, there is this incredible weight on my shoulders.  And it's making me tired.

I can not wait til summer.

Long time no write

2007-04-06T13:32:00.000-04:00

So I haven't written this in a long time, but I mean...school has been crazy! Doing schoolwork and trying to stay sane is nearly impossible. There's definitely a lot that's been going on, and I really don't have the time nor the patience to go through it all. One thing is that tomorrow is my birthday! I'm going home this weekend for Easter. Tonight I'm going out with my girls and partying it up.

All in all, life has been treating me well. Besides chemistry. Chemistry never treats me well. I'll go through a few things that have happened without going into too much detail about it all. March 27 I saw Justin Timberlake live in concert. So amazing. So sexy. Pink opened for him, and she was awesome as well. I definitely recommend her CD. March 29 I donated blood, and I am so glad that I did it. I think it is something that everyone who is eligible should take part in and do as often as possible. It's so important to so many people. March 30-31 I participated in UPenn's Relay for Life from 8pm til 8am. It was a great experience and I'm really glad I did it. Despite the cold, lack of food, and barely being able to walk for the next day, it was so worth it. Overall, $130,000 was raised to go to the American Cancer Society to continue to search for a cure.

I also need to point out, mostly for myself but others if they want to know, that I'm so over something and I'm moving on entirely. I'm happy for myself and this other person. But I definitely have somebody else on my mind and a possible set-up, thanks to Kim, hahaha.

Well I guess that's all for now. If anything comes up I'll see what I can do in updating here. Laters.

Need money?

2007-03-18T03:51:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm a poor college student. That's nothing new. I wanted to find a way to make some quick money. Check it out: at FusionCash I made over $30 in one night. This isn't a joke or a virus on my blog or anything, it's me - Sarah D. It's all legit and shit.

Check out the banner below to see how much I've made. The total received is still $0 because I haven't cashed-out yet to receive a paycheck 'cause I just started and wanna earn some more first. Click the banner and sign-up! It's so easy. You don't have to have a credit/debit card, but if you do then you can make more money.

Reasons why I'm looking forward to summer

2007-03-12T17:57:00.001-04:00

Well, the title says it all so let's proceed.

-Having a job (hopefully) and thus having money.

-Getting my license (hopefully).

-Beachin' it up as much as possible.

-Getting shitty with my posse.

-Playing tennis as much as possible.

-Sleeping in as much as possible.

-Having none of the following: chemistry, biology, math, English, or sociology.

-Getting tan.

-Consuming copious amounts of water ice, ice cream, and beer (see "Getting shitty with my posse.")

-Playing tennis as much as possible (it's that important.)

That just about sums it up. Early morning today so I plan on taking a good nap and then using my freshly-charged brain to work on some math problems and do some reading for chemistry, and other little miscellaneous things I need to get done.

First day back after spring break, and...nothings changed. Classes, people, food, studying, classes people, food, studying, etc. etc. etc. etc. Only 53 more days until May 3rd, last day of the semester -- holler!

2007-03-11T20:03:00.000-04:00

sometimes i don't know how i'm so stupid, so naive. but i guess lust can be terribly blinding.

my mom bought me an early birthday present: a new tennis racket. HOLLER. it's a Wilson nCode n5 OS. i looooove it. i can't wait to get it out on the courts with this nice spring weather.

there she is. the racket's got a great feel to it. the head is over-sized so i get a little more power on my shots. my Head TiS5 is i guess a midplus size, great for control but i can't generate enough power.

i counted, and only 53 more days until may 3, my last final of this semester. i can't wait. i need to find a job for the summer. my mom keeps bringing up waitressing, but... i don't know if i'm cut out for that, lol.

i've got a chem lab practical tomorrow so i should study for that and finish my lab from two weeks ago. then try to do the math project which was due almost a week ago but i didn't have the paper, and now i can't find the first part that i need to do it. i had a bad start in all of my classes, so hopefully this will all smooth over soon, as it did in bio, with an 80 on the first exam and 93 on the second.

Reach out to our senses

2007-02-26T20:45:00.001-05:00

I am taking a break from studying and I thought this was an important subject to write about: guys who smell good. Sure, you might be thinking it is a trivial thing, but you are wrong! Just kidding. But in my opinion, and in others I'm sure, it is so sexy when a guy is wearing really good cologne or body spray.

This is important for all guys to know, especially the ones that I may date in the future. And guys, if you already smell great - congratulations to you! When I'm talking to a guy, and then suddenly I get that whiff of his sexy scent, I suddenly want to do things to him that I may never have imagined before.

Well, I should probably get back to studying, but before I do, here are some suggestions of what to wear:

Old Zone Red Spice - Glacial Falls body spray (ahhhhhhh)

Axe .. I forget the scent but it's yellow I think

Hhmmmmmm pretty much anything else! Haha. But those are personal faves.

So guys, reach out to girls senses. Indulge us with your sexy scent. 'Cause we love it.

Holler.

Life is a Song

2007-02-25T16:00:00.000-05:00

This is an amazing song, from the last episode of The O.C. I admit, I cried like a baby. Just listen to the song. It's the first one.

http://myspace.com/patrickpark

You say life is a dream, where we can't say what we mean,
maybe just some road side scene that we're driving past,
where there's no telling where we'll be, in a day or in a week
and there's no promises of peace, or of happiness.
Well, is this why you cling, to every little thing,
and pulverize and derange all your senses,
maybe life is a song, but you're scared to sing along
until the very ending.

It's time to let go of everything that we used to know,
ideas of strength and who we've been.
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds,
from the chains and shackles that they're in.

Tell me what good is saying that you're free,
in a dark and storming sea, where
chained to your history you're surely sinking fast.
You say that you know, that the good lord's in control,
and he's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul.
But at the end of the day, when every price has been paid,
if you're gonna rise and sit beside him on some old seat of gold,
then won't you tell me why, you live like you're afraid to die,
and you'll die like you're afraid to go.

It's time to let go of everything that we used to know,
ideas of strength and who we've been.
It's time to cut ties that won't ever free our minds,
from the chains and shackles that they're in.
From the chains and shackles that they're in.

Well, life is a dream, and we're all walking in our sleep,
you can see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet.
We build our house of cards, and then we wait for it to fall,
and always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all.

A sign?

2007-02-25T02:29:00.001-05:00

Everything I do, everything I say...something in my mind, it all comes back to you. I just wish I knew what you felt. I need a sign, I need something. I'm going crazy here....

Back to you

It always comes around

Back to you

I walk with your shadow

I'm sleeping in my bed

With your silhouette

Just saw Reno 911. It was really funny and I recommend it. Oh, and I'm definitely seeing the new Will Ferrell movie, "Blades of Glory," when it comes out. Anything with him is hilarious. Long week coming up, but then break is here. I can not wait.

Bed time. Goodnight.

Ridiculous already?

2007-02-22T15:40:00.001-05:00

Clinton-Obama: Fasten Your Seat Belts -- Thursday, Feb. 22, 2007 -- Page 1 -- TIME

Already the race is growing ugly. This is horrible. Not even into the real political race yet, not even close to primaries, and yet the Democratic candidates we're supposed to be proud of are already disgusting me.

As much as I want to vote for Hillary, the more and more I hear, I believe I'm voting for Obama.

Go to the article. Just look at the picture. Look at their faces. It's like a bad horror movie! For Christ's sake, let us not sink to the levels of our GOP friends and behave like real adults, please? But of course, we're talking about politicians.......

i'm breaking down

2007-02-20T17:03:00.001-05:00

yea, i think it's happening. just a bad week so far. can't wait to see how much worse it can get. seriously though. (this is me complaining.) why do the last 2 weeks before break have to suck so much? i think i would really like to see a psychologist right now. not only that but i need to do some serious visiting with my chem, bio, soc, and lit books!!! yes, that's for my four exams next week. yes, four. not only that, but i have a bio lab project due next wednesday. and i'm pretty positive i failed my math test considering i didn't have time to get to the entire back page, worth 20 points. excellent. just fucking excellent!

so on a better note... oh wait there isn't one! unless maybe i could start this week over! and thank you to the weather for giving me a lovely nose bleed last night! "don't go bleedin' waterfalls" was my song of choice for the night. also, i set my alarm for the wrong time on monday (7:30 pm instead of am...duh!) so now i have to wake up at 7am on FRIDAY to make-up lab. WHAAT! that sucks, man!

so i probably won't come out of my room until march 2 for spring break, since i have so much to do in between now and then. oh plus i have to decide where i'm living next semester. since i don't know who wants a room mate and i don't know who i can room with, i'll probably commute. unless i live by myself. yea, can't you tell i'm such the social butterfly? and this is why i mentioned the psychologist.

this is what i have to say to life right now: fuck you! just fuck you. and on top of that i'm totally loving the cramps thanks to that wonderful monthly cycle.

great week. best week ever.

goodbye.

Bio thought of the day

2007-02-16T13:47:00.000-05:00

So, we talk about a lot of interesting things in lecture, especially bio, and there was something today that was particularly interesting that made me think, more on a sarcastic level rather than an analysis level.

Right now we're discussing protists, under the domain Eukarya. Some protists have the ability to make these "cysts," which are pretty much little balls of genetic and metabolic material in a protective shell. They make these when the environment is going through a drastic change, so as to preserve themselves. The example my instructor Dr. Mostrom used is, for example, when a pond is drying up. The protist will create this "cyst," so that when the pond dries up it's genetic and metabolic material is still "alive." When the pond returns to normal, this protist can then pretty much "live again." This would thus make the protist "immortal" because essentially it comes back alive.

Well then I thought, if only humans could do that, 'cause sometimes the world just sucks. In a different perspective, we are in all actuality drastically changing our environment with global warming and pollution. If eventually our environment changes for the worst, what will happen to humans? Wouldn't it be amazing if we could just put our genetic and metabolic material into a ball, and then when the Earth returns to conditions in which humans can live, we can then live again? Or, will humans simply evolve and adapt to new conditions if we do not change the way in which we are living?

Many questions to ask, with infinite answers, many possibilities. But interesting, nonetheless.

Two candidates, ever the same

2007-02-13T19:25:00.001-05:00

I find myself still torn as to who I would vote for president. Despite the fact that I have plenty of time to decide, it's still something that I need to think about (and that everyone should think about - VOTE!) I honestly don't know a lot about Obama, so I guess it's time to do my research. Right now, the two people I would vote for (Clinton and Obama) seem essentially the same to me.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, alas, another Hallmark Holiday. I remember working on Valentine's Day last year, and ringing up so many last minute people. I'm pretty sure I even remember one guy coming in at two different times, each time with a different girl. Unless this guy had a twin...there's something wrong going on there.

So today in sociology we got this piece of information in our notes:

"Democratic leadership is more expressive, making a point of including everyone in the decision making process."

Now, I'm sure this wasn't meant to be political, because a professor really couldn't introduce a partisan idea like that to a group whom has differing political views (which I'm sure the class does). But in reality, it makes sense. How much has the current administration included us in? Not much, if anything at all. Plus, the President is always so adamant about what he thinks is "right," he essentially could care less if Congress or anybody else for that matter disagreed. He does what he wants. And that is just one reason we're in such a mess here.

Just a quick note before I go because I've homework to do. I'm participating in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life, held at University of Pennsylvania, Franklin Field, on March 30-31 from 8pm-8am. I've already helped (by my mom, brother, and myself) raise $120 for the cause, and I hope more people will donate. I'm on Team USP (hollerrrrr) and it's going to be so much fun for a good cause.

That's about it. I'm out.

i'm in a bad mood

2007-02-11T22:43:00.000-05:00

i'm feeling very apathetic about everything right now. i'm in a bad mood. i think it's because i didn't fall asleep until 4:30am this morning. yea, sucks. i felt so tired, read a little, then tried to fall asleep, and it didn't happen. anyway, i want to commute to school next year, mom said we'll have to "talk" about that one. well i don't know who i'd room with anyway. so i might as well commute. so anyway, i don't feel like waking up tomorrow. early day. ugh. well i don't feel like typing anymore. i need a hug.

haaaaaaaaahahah

2007-02-11T03:52:00.001-05:00

i really can't sleep right now. here is something i wrote on an old boyfriend's xanga once:

"you are such a fucking ass and a liar; you don't deserve anything good in your life"

i think it's a great statement, especially my use of the semi-colon. perfectly placed, i would say.

i also wrote:

"you need to stop...we're over"

i think this really shows my expert use on the use of 3 periods in succession.

i'm really quite clever. guys, you don't know what you're missing out on. holler atcha girl.

LOLITA!

2007-02-11T02:10:00.001-05:00

Oh, Lolita! I just can't stop reading! How has Vladimir Nabokov managed to make such a vile and formidable subject such an amazing story? It's 2:10am and I don't think I will sleep until I finish.

In any case, tomorrow is my last day to sleep in for another 5 days. It's a sad and disheartening realization.

Goodnight.

Torn

2007-02-10T17:51:00.001-05:00

I have to admit that I am quite torn.

Am I going to vote for a woman president, or an African-American president?

gah money!

2007-02-08T18:36:00.000-05:00

I really need money, lol. Well, I don't need it. But I want it. I want/need (are the two really interchangeable?) a new laptop bag, and to buy a nice one is like $45 bucks, plus I want to donate some money to the cause for global warming, but I really can't. Grr. I can't wait for my income tax return to get into my bank account. I still have a $200-some odd dollar balance on my credit card that I have to pay off, and enough in my checking to pay it, but not enough left over for anything else, lol.

So, where's my loan? Whoever owes money to me............ own up, bitches! Hhaha......

Something new to me

2007-02-08T13:02:00.001-05:00

Maybe it's because I've been busy with school, or that I don't have a television in my room. But I had no idea that our rights as women were under such scrutiny. This is an article that my mom's friend wrote for Daily Kos, and it's an excellent article about what she deems as "The War on Women." After reading it, I think many of my liberal friends will agree, as did I. It's not too lengthy, took me about 10 minutes to read.

"The War on Women"

After you read, let everyone else read it. We've gotta find our place and take a stand!

spitting image

2007-02-07T20:33:00.001-05:00

this is the product of sheer boredom, and a little talent.

spitting image

check it outtttttttttttttttt

just a quickie

2007-02-04T19:44:00.001-05:00

i just want to post a quick little something in honor of my home girl, Senator Hillary Clinton. i don't wanna get into detail here because i have other things to do, but listening to her speak made me feel so confident about her, as well as our country, which i don't think many Americans have experienced in a while.

Click here to watch video

extinction of the homo sapien?

2007-02-02T13:19:00.001-05:00

in biology lecture today we finished up covering the material for exam one. the majority of this coverage is all about evolution. at the end my professor put up a question that she didn't really want to get into details with, but was just something to make us think. and indeed it did. i'll paraphrase it here:

will we drive our own species, homo sapien, to extinction?

then the wheels and cogs in my brain started turning and working (it was really surprising, however, because i had woken up for class only about an hour before and i was still very asleep). the things we're doing to our planet everyday are outrageous. our atmosphere is a mess. so i wondered, will the atmosphere one day change so severely that the human species must adapt to the new gases in the air that our bodies breathe in and process? will there be individuals who are naturally selected, who will more easily adapt to and breathe the "new air" than others? perhaps. if this does happen, then, would the homo sapien eventually become extinct (the homo sapien is currently extant) to make way for a new species of homo whose lungs and entire body can live with extreme differences in the atmosphere, compared to what the atmosphere is today?

well, i'm really not qualified nor am i knowledgeable enough to answer this question. it's just something that i was brainstorming about while sitting in bio lecture.

test 1, 2... test 1, 2, 3...

2007-01-30T23:47:00.001-05:00

just testing out using the Performancing blogging tool in firefox. instead of typing the six letters of "blogger" i just click on a tiny icon and blow away. yes, that's how lazy i've become. i just had some delicious sushi courtesy of my room mate. and i plan on sleeping very soon. bio lab tomorrow - yuck. last week it took foreverrrr. i hope it doesn't take as long this week because my stomach almost ate itself last time i was so hungry. annnnnd we get to finish watching a movie in lit, so that'll be good. a nice easy day. that's how i like 'em. well i'm about to peace out, maybe watch an episode of my all-time fave sex and the city before bed.

p.s. you could have just told me, jerk!

"only time we don't speak is durin' sex and the city"

what could account for my hatred of the male?

2007-01-30T16:26:00.000-05:00

so maybe to say that i hate the male gender is an overstatement. but as a woman, i think it's fair to say we all have our days when we just don't understand men, or think it's unfair that they get the upper-hand in some situations. so, what factor would account for this? is it simply that there is a general piece of knowledge in society that men have always been above women? or, are there mental factors within our minds and personalities that play a role? i thought about this while in sociology class today, and here is a paragraph taken directly from our notes that i think may explain some of it.

"Electra complex is the process of girls abandoning their love relationship with their mother for a new one with their father. When girls realize that they have no penis, they blame their mothers for her castrated condition. Ultimately, the girl comes to wish that her father would share his penis with her through sexual union or that he would provide her with the symbolic equivalent of a penis – a baby – also called penis envy."

as children were we jealous enough of our fathers manhood in our subconscious minds, that we then began to be angry at him because we could not be equivalent in that sense?

just something i was thinking. i'm definitely no sociology expert or anything, but i just got to thinking as i typed up paragraphs and paragraphs of notes............

i didn't wanna wake up

2007-01-29T20:10:00.000-05:00

i woke up at 7:15 this morning. i went back to sleep from 11-11:45. then more recently i slept from 6-7:45. and i still didn't wanna wake up. waking up early sucks, cause my whole day gets screwed up. anyway, i realized that while i was blabbering on about politics this and that, i forgot to mention two very key events that occurred in the past weekend: the women's and men's finals at the Australian Open. unfortunately on friday i was far too liquored-up to watch the final, but i was able to find out that serena williams had defeated maria sharapova quite convincingly with a score of 6-1 6-2. yesterday i got to watch the men's final on t.v. in 3 straight sets roger federer defeated fernando gonzalez 7-6 6-4 6-4. both of them played excellent tennis, but on those points that won the games, roger played beautiful tennis, as always.

so as of right now i should be working on either some chemistry problems in the back of the chapters or math problems, or at least reading for a class. but the truth is i got out of my bed about 20 minutes ago and i'm still feeling rather sleep deprived, so i'm going to take a few more minutes to fully wake up. a week from tomorrow is our first chemistry exam, and i'm pretty sure next wednesday is the first bio exam as well. tough luck that they had to be so close, and that i'm going home this weekend. no worries. i know i'll get through this semester just like i did last semester.

and also, let's just touch on one final subject, one which perplexes me more than chemistry, bio, and math combined. so you probably already know who i'm talking about: the guys. yes, this fine gender of our species has done it once again to make me so confused i think sometimes i'm making things up in my head. so that's pretty much all i would like to say about that, because i'm so confused i can't even come up with something else to say that's not specific to a person i'm thinking of.

one final note, i promise: kathleen got accepted to Indiana University of Pennsylvania. i had actually for a brief moment in time thought about attending IUP because it costs so little compared to USP, and i could do pre-pharm then transfer to Duquesne. but its 6 hours away!!! so i'm definitely have to get my license so i can visit this girl next year. i don't know how i'm going to handle her being so far away!

because i'm a democrat

2007-01-25T13:52:00.000-05:00

so let's review a comment the puppet-master in washington had to say about hillary clinton as president.

Cheney, asked in an interview on CNN whether Clinton would make a good president, replied, "No, I don't."

Why not? "Because she's a Democrat. I don't agree with her philosophically and from a policy standpoint."

source: http://in.today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=worldNews&storyID=2007-01-25T015915Z_01_NOOTR_RTRJONC_0_India-284948-1.xml

at first i was going to very harshly criticize cheney for being so partisan, but then i realized i myself had made a similar comment in a recent blog. so instead of criticizing him i'm just going to say, he better have better reasoning than that to back up that statement. even though i said that i am voting democratic in 2008, i at least have clear support to back that up. i gave reasons. for example, democrats have more sound and reasonable policy.

:)
(that was sarcasm if you didn't get it.)

anyway, i really believe in what hillary has to say. from hillaryclinton.com i took several quotes from her webchat transcripts (of which i watched 2 out of 3, for the 3rd i was in bio lab)

"I am glad you are worried about the environment. I think the changes we have to make are going to be driven by young people.We have dropped the ball. This administration has wasted six years. It looks like it will waste mostly the next two years instead of coping with and dealing with the challenge of global climate change." (when asked about the environment, her policy for reducing CO2, etc.)

"But the very fact that he's talking about how we can get the universal health care coverage perhaps gives us an opportunity to work together." - now, you've got to give her credit here. it's obvious that members of all parties, democrat, republican, green, etc, - all need to work together. i think under hillary's administration, she would definitely have that.

"Instead, I think we should cap the number of troops, and we should begin to put real conditions on the Iraqi government." - well, it's about time.

"We have to send a clear message that the United States wants to lead the world, but we want to do it through cooperation, building alliances, making more friends than enemies. We cannot kill, occupy, jail all of the bad guys who wish us ill, but we sure can surround them. We can deter them. We can defeat them." - one of the most important things the US has to do is to fix relationships with the world.

and my favoritest of all....

"One last point about this because literally I could talk for the rest of this web chat. You know, when President Bush pulled out of Kyoto, I thought that was a mistake. But an even bigger mistake was he refused to go into any other process. If you don't like what was negotiated at Kyoto, well, don't turn your back and pretend that global climate change isn't real because it is, and it is affecting our climate, and it is going to have an increasingly big impact on how people live. So come up with a different process. But don't walk away from the problem. Just because you don't deal with the problem doesn't make the problem go away."

so, that's just a little bit about hillary. and when the other nominees announce their candidacy, i will surely find out as much about them as possible, even the republican runners, because that would be the fair thing to do. i can't criticize them if i don't know them.

starting with....

2007-01-22T17:42:00.000-05:00

well i've got a few things to say here today.

i'm starting with the year 2008. yes, one year from now. and why is 2008 so important? well, this is the year we get Bush out of office (i was going to use a derogatory term but i'll be mature) and elect someone new. so i want to review some candidates.

on the democratic side i am going to talk about (possible) nominee Senator Barack Obama and (the definite) Senator Hillary Clinton. this is quite a partisan statement and thus rather bias as well, but in 2008 i want a democratic candidate in the oval office. so then on the republic side we have possible Senator Sam Brownback (yea i know, WHO??!?) and Senator John McCain. well first let's clear up that i am going to vote democratic. and i will give you my reasoning for this. let me say that Sen. Brownback is a very religious right-wing opponent of abortion rights and same-sex marriage, and he is a strong supporter of keeping religion within public institutions. right now i am going to tell you i will not vote for someone who holds those ideals. i will be very honest and say i do not know much about McCain, except that he is a very strong candidate and i want to say he is a moderate conservative. again, i do not know much about Obama except that he is liberal and shares a similar point of view with Clinton on several issues that are of importance to me. if in the primaries i am voting between either Obama and Clinton, as of right now, my vote would be for Clinton. i have listened to her on numerous occasions, i know her views very well, and i know she has a multitude of experience in all facets of situations and categories a president (a good president) should be familiar with.

that said, let's move on to global warming. please visit http://www.cafepress.com/earth_love to buy products including tees, sweatshirts, buttons, and more that will proudly display your interest in taking care of our only Earth. 100% of the proceeds are going to an organization that is working for the cause, to help stop and reverse the effects of global warming.

also, to the college textbook industry, i would like to say that it is ridiculous in all senses of the word to charge already-broke students obscene amounts of money for a text on any subject. i don't care if God wrote it, if President Bush wrote it, i wouldn't pay $80 to buy a sociology book that even John Mayer wrote. so please, for all of us, lower your god damn costs.

so i think that's all for now, and if there's anything else i'll hold off until my next post.

Earth Love

2007-01-19T18:09:00.000-05:00

so here's a little something i thought i would share.

Check it out, buy a few things, show a little love for our planet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

myPod

2007-01-16T13:33:00.000-05:00

check it out, dudes.

myPo d
- find lots of cool products that use the "iPod" for inspiration. ex, iTap, iSki, iDance, etc etc etc. there's so many, there's something for everyone. so check it out.

a little time for reflection

2007-01-05T20:25:00.000-05:00

"Stop This Train"
written by John Mayer / lyrics from j-mayer.org

No,im not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
try to keep an open mind, but
just cant sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home
again
cant take the speed
it's movin in
I know i cant
but honestly wont someone
stop this train

Don't know how else to say it
dont wanna see my parents go
one generations length away from
findin life out on my own

Come on Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home
again
cant take the speed
it's movin in
I know i cant
but honestly wont someone
stop this train

so scared of gettin older
im only good at being young
so i play the numbers game
i find a way to say that
life has just begun

had a talk with my old man
said help me understand
he said turn 68
you'll renegotiate
dont stop this train
dont for a minute change the place youre in
dont think i couldnt ever understand
oh, i tried my hand
John , honestly
we'll never stop this train

Once in awhile
when it's good
it will feel like it should
and they're all
still around
and you're still safe and sound
and you don't miss a thing
til you cry as you're driving
away in the dark
singing

Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home
again
cant take the speed
it's movin in
I know that i cant
cuz now i see
I'll never stop this train
never gonna stop this train
never gonna stop this train

so now the reason for posting this song. well, i just got finished listening to it. and it made me really think. john mayer's Continuum was released september 12, not so long after i had made my appearance and home at USP. the first week of classes was rough for me. i could not wait to go home for the weekend. i felt like everyone around was so much smarter, and i even dared to ask myself "who am i to think i could succeed in pharmacy?" my self confidence was barely existent and i felt like i didn't belong. when i heard jm's song, i was like, this is incredible. it explained how i was feeling at that time so perfectly, almost scarily.

it was like, all i wanted to do was "stop this train," the train being time. i wanted to go back home and stop time. i wanted to never have to deal with USP again. this was only a few months after graduation, and i did not feel nearly ready to face the "real world," whatever that really is. i was "so scared of getting older," i felt like i would never know how to mature mentally and socially. i kept trying to "keep an open mind" but the lack of confidence i had and all of my insecurities didn't allow me to.

now i've finished the first semester and i'm moving into the second as of january 15, 2007. i surpassed 2006. the year of graduation has to be so hard on everybody. you end one chapter of your life and start another within a few months, almost no time to adjust. you're thrown into a scene and you've gotta adapt and make the best of it. anyway, i successfully completed my first semester with a 3.007 cumulative GPA, a B average. and i did better than some of those people who i thought were so much smarter than me. people hear my GPA, people who know what major i'm in, and they're proud and they know i've done a good job. so i'm like, hey, i did do a good job, i should be proud of myself. i've regained my confidence, and i know i can do this.

jm's song helped me get through one rough point in my life. i've surpassed it, and i'm here, and i'm going back for more. i want the challenge. i want to be given all of this hard work, and i want to do so well on it, and i want to succeed at the challenge. and i will. i know i will. i could never let myself fail at something so important. i never let myself fail. that will always hold true.

i should be.....what? what?????

2006-12-14T14:14:00.000-05:00

maybe i should be reviewing for my chem exam in 45 minutes. but i feel so confident about it. and right now i have a friggin 88 in chem... and i'm not mad about that! i'm HAPPY about that! even if i fail this final (which i won't) i can still get a B...i love it. so things have kind of turned. i'm more worried about bio now. my exam average is an 82, and my bio lab exam grades aren't too pretty, so i hope that doesn't bring me down to a C. i'll be sad.

i got my schedule for next semester, pretty much the same as this semester but a little different. got 99% of what i wanted, so it's all good. after today's final i go home, and then tomorrow we're riding dirty to J-Town. hollaaaaaa. this is gonna be one sweet ass trip (assuming we don't get lost and end up in erie, pa or west virginia). then sunday...dun dun dunnnnnnn. cvs. ugh. i am really not going to want to be there. i volunteered to work xmas day for the extra pay, but now i'm regretting it, hahaha. cvs shouldn't be open on xmas, at least not all day. it's dumb.

i didn't fall asleep until 6:30am this morning because i had two cups of coffee LOADED with sugar at 1am. it helped me stay awake for when i was studying, until about 2:30, but then i was up for another four hours. around 6, i started feeling sick i think because of the coffee. i thought i would never sleep, but fortunately it eventually happened for me. so that's all. wish me luck on today's final.

i should be studying for finals

2006-12-11T02:33:00.000-05:00

well it's around 2:30am and i have a math final at 3pm today, monday, december 11. wow. damn. shit. my first semester is over after this week. holy cow. haha. so if i'm not sleeping or eating i should probably be studying, but guess what, i'm not, and i will tomorrow, and i'll do good. i've studied for math and i'm ready so bring that sucka on!

i don't really have much to say except that, and this thursday is the road trip to J-TOWN, PA. i'm working on a 4-hour playlist for the ride. it's sweet as sugar. zigga-zig-ah. holla.

so i guess that's all. i need to sleep. bye.

Special Post - "Apologize" Video

2006-12-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

Here's the real deal right here for you to watch. It's also on YouTube for you to watch as well as comment and rate - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nzwt7UGDN4g

i should be showing this video!

2006-12-06T22:53:00.000-05:00

here's the final product. thanks for the feedback. wish me luck :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nzwt7UGDN4g

i should be....?????

2006-12-06T17:46:00.000-05:00

i don't know what i should be doing. i guess i should start studying for finals, but damn... i need at least today to just relax and then i'll start tomorrow. that's gonna be fun. right. fun. chemistry fun. haha. good joke.

i'm listening to *nsync's christmas cd. probably the best christmas cd ever made, at least in my educated opinion. ha. ahh i can't believe christmas is almost here. it's insanity. i'm really sad that i won't be seeing my family this christmas but...whaddyagonnado? i'll be working christmas eve and christmas day, so...that's a bummer, too. it's weird. usually at this time of year i get that christmas sense, it's in the atmosphere, but i don't feel it at school, lol. instead i'm getting other senses like "watch your back cause you're in west philly" and "go study for your finals." not as good as the christmas sense.

i edited my "Apologize" video but youtube has been giving me some trouble uploading the final product, but i'm working on it, and once it's up there i'm entering it into the contest. so i'll cross my fingers. now that i know i can do this video stuff and i have the software (pretty amateur but it works) i want to make more!!! it's fun, plus it takes up crucial studying time :-) .

start working at CVS again on december 17.........*this is my long, regretful pause when i remember that CVS is worse than self-inflicted torture.* i need to keep remembering that i'm poor, and even though i get shit paychecks from CVS it's some money. and really, i strongly emphasize the word some.

i should be sleeping (IV)

2006-12-04T01:45:00.000-05:00

i have a chem lab exam tomorrow at 8am, so i need to sleep soon. but as always, there are things i need to say.

first off, two more weeks of 1st semester!

secondly, here i go blabbering on about things inside my head. i've probably said it all before, but whatever. i'm sorry that i'm not more open to you about my feelings, maybe i should be, because i'm really confused about them and about you. maybe you don't think so, but i think about you a lot. and maybe that's all i should say, because if i say anything else.........................

goodnight. wish me luck on my exam tomorrow :)

i should be putting away my laptop

2006-12-01T17:17:00.000-05:00

before i put away my laptop to go home and XMAS SHOP for the weekend, i want everyone to check out a little something i made for a contest. i'm going to submit it after i get some more feedback, and there's still some things in it that need editing.

OneRepublic - "Apologize"

so watch it, let me know if you like it, and if it gets a message across clearly.

i should be studying for the bio lab exam

2006-11-28T20:59:00.000-05:00

so there's many things that are distracting me from studying right now. and yes, i am going to tell you them.

1) i'm tired. i've been tired. i felt great at home, but then i come to school and it's like as soon as i walk into Goodman hall the life drains out of me. all i want to do is lay my head down on the pillow and sleep until tomorrow around 10 or 11, depending on if i go to gym or not.

2) it's you. it's always you. it's not obsessive thoughts like "omg omg omg *you*" or something immature like that. it's more like, "you act like this one day and then another day it's different, and i'm trying to understand you." and every time i should be thinking about Planck's constant or meiosis and mitosis, it's you. when i'm supposed to be writing a 3-page english paper on something that i could not care less about it, it's you. when i'm trying to picture in my head the electron configuration of technetium, it's YOU. "why's it always you and never me?" -"trouble sleeping," the Perishers. i need to be giving more time to my studies, which is indirectly giving more time to myself.

3) what was my third reason? i got so caught up on YOU i can't remember. oh of course. the D word: Death. i capitalize it for certain reasons. it's just another thing, like stoichiometry, that i have trouble understanding. in the past year (very close to a year, anyway) 3 young people have passed away, much too early in their lives. tiffany murray, justi weirnicki, nick collelouri. each of them so close to my own age. in 1 case, it didn't have to happen. no body has to overdose on drugs, but it happened, and the people left her there to die. in the other cases, it was matters of the body, illness, more specifically. but in all cases, their deaths were out of my control. maybe that's why i find it so hard to understand. if i could control it, would it happen? and i thought about it a lot today. i'm majoring in pharmacy for a reason. i want to go into research for a reason. maybe no body has to die from non-hodgkin's lymphoma. maybe there is a cure for it, but it hasn't been found yet. that's what i want to do. i want to find the cures. i want to save people. i want people to live long, healthy, happy lives, and i want their family and friend counterparts to do the same. it's the reason i'm studying for this bio lab tonight. it's the reason i'm even taking a bio lab. this is how i feel i can do my part in the world.

what would be great is knowing all the answers. if i knew all the answers, i probably wouldn't have written this blog, and i probably wouldn't have to study for the exam. but i don't know the answers, at least all of them, at least not yet. but i'm working on it.

ain't gotta do nothin' crazy, see all i want you to do is............ be my love

i should be doing....nothing for once!

2006-11-22T00:12:00.000-05:00

wow! thanksgiving break is finally here and i can relax for at least a few days! not too long though, because i have 4 exams next week............. so not cool.

anyway, i've been seriously considering playing tennis for USP next year. that means a few things. first, getting into amazing shape and building up major endurance to try to tone down the asthma and how bad it can get. so secondly, i would need to hit up the doctor and get an inhaler. third, pretty much giving up my summer in 2007 to get ready for the next season (trying out) and practicing every day. i would NOT mind playing tennis 24/7, not at all, but i have to think about having a job and possibly doing summer courses. and fourth and final (hopefully), getting a new racquet, which i've already been looking into anyway.

on that note, here are a few things i'm considering about a new racquet. one of the things that i really need to bring into my game is more power. i can do that in two ways: by working on my arms through weight-lifting, and by buying a racquet with a larger/more giving sweetspot. plus, i have to consider price.

my current Head Ti5 is head light, but i think i want to go a few points head heavy so that also gives a little more power, but it'll change up my serve a little. my serve is so inconsistent anyway, that's another thing i really want to work on.

so a racquet i'm definitely considering is the Head Flexpoint 6 Midplus. it will give me more power but not too much so that i lose control. so i've asked for it for christmas.

well anyway this was a really long blog, probably the longest i've done, about tennis. haha, but i could go on forever about tennis! anyway, i can't wait to eat on thursday!!!! plus, i plan on reciting grace. the tradition, of course. and not just any grace, but the grace from Meet the Parents. you know it's the best, and i do it oh-so-well. i do need to brush up on it, however. so that's what imma go do.

peace.

i should be doing pharm orientation hw

2006-11-16T23:49:00.000-05:00

sometimes i get this feeling all over. my body feels heavy and tired, lifeless almost. i feel like certain things just knock the life out of me. and usually it's the usual, school or boys. but...then i think about other things, and it's like someone's taking up all my oxygen and i can't breathe anymore. it gets too difficult. it's too hard to think about so many depressing things all at once, yet it's all i can think about. i feel falsely sick to my stomach, like i need to bend over and heave but i know nothing's going to come out. and the worse part is, i have this feeling so much these days. all i want to do is sleep. because if i'm sleeping, i don't have to deal with all of that. when i'm awake, it's like i'm carrying the world on my shoulders. i wish school could be easier, i wish i could understand boys, i wish i could understand the world we live in. none of this is ever going to happen. so am i supposed to just keep feeling this way all the time? i mean if that's the case somebody please let me know, so then i can figure out a way to deal with it sooner then later.

i should be sleeping (III)

2006-11-12T03:54:00.000-05:00

i should always be sleeping! but this is the latest i've stayed up in a while. anyway, that's besides the point of this post.

anyway, i'd like to point out this website i'm conjuring up.

www.freewebs.com/sdonnelly

that's the address. it's...well it's not much really. it's just that i get bored, and i used to be really good at writing HTML, CSS, as well as designing graphics for websites. unfortunately i don't have paintshop pro or photoshop anymore, and until i can get them again i really won't be able to make any worthy graphics. but i can still write HTML.

so keep checking it out, see if i add anything interesting. and if you have any tips on how to sleep better --- LET ME KNOW!

i should be doing everything else except this

2006-11-11T00:22:00.000-05:00

like always. no surprise there. but here's something new: i'm a hustler baby, i just want you to know. . . just kidding. anyway, i'm going home tomorrow for ella's birthday. she turned 2 today and the party is on sunday, so i'm going home saturday just for fun.

i did almost nothing to day except go to class and do a little work. i feel worthless - maybe that was a little too strong. i feel like a lazy piece - oh, right, I am.

oh and i was told i need to keep a 3.0 in order to keep my merit scholarship. ha, right now i have a 2.71 cumulative. yea, uhm, it's gonna be fun trying to get that B average. i mean, if i can pull good grades on my next chem and math tests then yea, i can do it. otherwise....... sorry mom. it just means more student loans i have to take out.

anyway, it's going to be really nice this weekend and i want to get out on those tennis courts! will i be able to? who knows. and even then, who the hell am i going to play with? there are so many people at USP who play tennis, even just for fun, but no one at home does. everyone should play tennis. it's the best sport.

i should be studying for the bio exam

2006-11-08T22:13:00.001-05:00

which is next wednesday. yes, from now until the end of the semester i have at least one exam every week. how fun is that? extremely fun, a jolly good time.

so some good news: democrats are in control of the house and senate! took us over 10 years to do it, but i had a good feeling about yesterday's elections. so be ready for some good changes in our policy! some key issues i want to see some change happen with: the environment/global warming, the war in iraq, and immigration.

and besides that i got my chem exam III grade. but that's all i'm saying. i don't wanna talk about the grade. the only thing i'll say is i'm dropping it.

another thing i don't want to talk about: boys.

the highlight of my day was putting my hands in my pocket and finding a ten dollar bill! it was like, whoa! cause i'm really poor right now. mother has to keep an eye on my financial status, and she helps me out now and then.

well i think i'd like to go eat a kit kat, relax, and sleeeeeeeep until 10:30 tomorrow. good times, my G.

if i only could make a deal with god and get him to swap our places

i should be studying for the chem exam

2006-11-03T14:25:00.000-05:00

if i had to create a soundtrack to my life, i would definitely have to include these songs:

Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
Let Me Talk to You/My Love - JT feat. TI and Timbaland
Maybe I'm Amazed - Jem
Running Up That Hill - Placebo
Tonight - FM Static
Fix You - Coldplay
On and On - Missy Elliott
Nothing in My Way - Keane
On a Night Like This - Dave Barnes
Comfortable - John Mayer
Put it Behind You - Keane
Stop This Train - John Mayer
Bold as Love - John Mayer
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Eskimo - Damien Rice
It's My Life - No Doubt
Sparks - Coldplay

random, sure. i'm bored and should be studying for tuesday's chem exam covering the remainder of ch. 4, a little on 5, then 6, and 7.1-7.5. i need to read chapter 7 because i missed wednesday's class, do my high-lighting thing, and do some questions at the end of the chapter.

so maybe i'll start on that. just maybe. haha.

i should be doing chemistry

2006-10-31T15:43:00.001-05:00

and i will. but i wanted to take a break because after walking around center city philadelphia last night, i had a lot of creative thoughts cross my mind. i thought here would be a good place to eject them freely, and then i can do some more stoichiometry.

We were walking around center city, not lost, not aimlessly wandering - no, we had a purpose. We were trying to get back home, back to our school, in a decent time. See, we had taken the wrong train, and it was late at night so waiting for another would be useless. So here we are, walking in the heart of Philadelphia. It's empty, void of the usual hustle-and-bustle that people find everyday while commuting. The night is beautiful, a clear sky with as many stars as the city light and smog would allow us to see. We're walking down Broad Street, and I'm not sure about everyone else, but when I'm walking next to those monstrous sky-scrapers I can't help but feel so small, so unimportant to the city. I look at the others, and they're all craning their necks, holding their gaze over the enormity of the structures. Then a rather scary thought crosses my mind: imagine, like on September 11th, a plane coming from out of no where and violently striking one of these buildings that stand right here in front of me.

It's cold out, and the October wind is whipping angrily at my exposed face and neck. I can't see it but I know that my cheeks and nose have turned a crimson red. I'm still observing the city around me, stealing glances of the insides of sophisticated condominiums and businesses. The street lamps provide ample lighting, illuminating our path and making the scene even more amazing. I can't help but to start to wonder about him, and how I would love if it was just us walking down Broad Street. We'd keep each other warm, and enjoy ourselves doing so. But then my mind fills with too many complex thoughts, and I don't feel like thinking too much: it takes away from the moment. So I clear those thoughts from my mind and keep walking, barely able to feel my feet, but entirely capable of loving the time, the location, and the essence of it all.

i should be sleeping (II)

2006-10-24T02:14:00.000-04:00

please just let me sleep. get out of my head. at least for now. and then you can consume my thoughts tomorrow.

i should be at the nurse

2006-10-23T10:44:00.000-04:00

so this cough is persisting still, and i should go to the nurse right now before class buuuut... i'd rather sit here and ruin my eyes via computer screen. waking up at 7am is brutal.... especially after going to bed at 1am and not being able to fall asleep until 2am because certain thoughts just won't exit my mind.

i'm going home in the upcoming weekend. i love going home. as much as i absolutely love college life and being here, i love home too, and i miss it. plus, i need to get some more soups and water. this week is going to be insanely busy. my list of things to do takes up the entire length of my white board. the most tedious will be writing my english paper, and my bio and math exams. i just want monday to be over with... mondays are the absolute worst. classes 8-12, then 3-6. rough waters right there.

heres my joke i found. i love it.

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out.

The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that question."

i should be sleeping

2006-10-22T03:04:00.000-04:00

i should be sleeping but i can't. i don't want to. because tomorrow i have to wake up and do loads of work.

things are so confusing right now. and by things i mean boys. whatever is going on in this head of mine...it's insane. i'm not even sure if i want a relationship right now. i don't know what i want. and it's all starting to consume me. in class i find myself drifting away from the lecture and thinking about boys and my relationships with them. and i really like one boy, but i'm not sure where we're going or if we should be going anywhere. something about it feels so wrong. i don't want it to though. i know the reason it feels wrong, and everyone keeps telling me to just do this for myself, but i can't. i could never do this to that person without knowing first it was completely okay. i just want to take things slow and see what happens.

you got me just screwed up.

i should be studying thermochemistry

2006-10-19T19:55:00.000-04:00

so right now i should be working on chapter 6, thermochemistry. the book is in front of me and is open to the corresponding page, but i haven't exactly started the work that needs to be done. such work includes reading and doing some practice problems for a quiz tomorrow.

speaking of tomorrow - IT'S FRIDAY! that means a few things. let's go through them. 1) it is the end of the school week, only 3 classes, and i can sleep til 11. 2) the weekend is here. 3) in correspondance with number two, major partying!

besides that i'm still sick, this cough isn't getting any better. thus i have to go to the nurse tomorrow before class and find out what's really wrong with me. i'm thinking bronchitis but definitely hoping not.

so now that i've procrastinated approximately an additional five minutes, i should close my eyes to blogging and open them to a world of thermochemistry. on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the gayest, how gay was that statement? yea, i'd give it a 20.

i should be studying for my next exam, whenever that is

2006-10-10T15:06:00.000-04:00

so today's chemistry exam. yea. not really sure how i did. i have to admit that i didn't study as much as i should have this weekend. i could have fully comprehended the material if i wanted to, but i didn't. so now i know that for the next exam i better study like i did for bio and start pulling some A's and high B's. because i need a 2.7 cumulative to continue, and a 2.3 math and science. i think that's roughly a C+, but i forget. i can pull that off, i really can. but instead i spent about twenty minutes staring at my book and said fuck it. that's not the attitude i need to be taking.

well onto other subject matter, the elections for 2006 are quickly approaching. i'm excited to excercise my right to vote for the first time! so far these are the candidates that i will be voting to elect:

ed rendell
joe sestak
bob casey

i'm going to vote at home because i forgot to change my registered address to my school address. well the important thing about this election is that democrats get control of the house, and i think we're going to be able to do it. that would be a great advantage. we need to put some more value to the things many of our republican friends in the house decided weren't very important. example, global warming. of course, the election i am eagerly looking forward to is the presidential election of 2008. there are still approximately two years to go but i am confident that a strong leader will prevail, preferably one who tends to be more liberal. but we just need a leader who is going to do what needs to be done, not what he wants to be done. also, a leader who prefers not to mix religion with politics, because we have all seen how ugly it is.

so i got about 8 hours of sleep last night but the chemistry test pretty much drained me so for now i'm going to attempt to take a nap and wake up at a decent hour today.

ps. i thought i might have had them figured out a little bit, but it's useless.... i will never understand the inner-workings (mental that is) of a man.

i should be getting my party on

2006-10-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

so i would be partying if i wasnt poor. damn friggin cover charges. oh well. there will be many more parties. but tonight would have been fun. but i'm wondering, how am i supposed to go out tomorrow night if i can't get money til the weekend? wtf.

oh and i think heather thinks i am now an alcoholic. i like to get my party on. who doesn't. i never got to until punta cana, unfortunately, so now i have to make up for all that missed "fun-ness."

so tonight i'm going to eat my last chicken noodle soup and then go to sleep. fuck homework. i'll sleep. i would rather be thrashing my liver with a white sheet draped clumsily around me, but i'll sleep.

i should be doing homework

2006-10-03T13:51:00.000-04:00

so i only had one class today and it ended early around 12 because we could leave once we finished our Excel project. so i've been sitting here for about an hour, just being lazy. there's some homework/reading/studying i should be doing but i'll start later, i have all day. hopefully something's going on tonight, so i can go out and have some real fun. i should also probably do a little laundry....later. my weekend is already filled with lots of stuff i got planned to do, including studying for that chem exam.

my friend heather sent me this really funny video, everyone should watch it.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/341977

i'm going to go find something else to waste my time with, that i shouldn't be doing. oh well.

i should be trying to sleep

2006-09-29T01:14:00.000-04:00

well since i can't sleep i figured i would entertain myself by writing. of course, i haven't actually laid down and tried to sleep yet. anyhow, it's friday, what a relief. i'll be doing my english paper when i wake up around 10 this morning, so that should be fun. there's a whole laundry list of other things i need to accomplish within the weekend. lots of studying, but hopefully more partying. i mean really, why am i really at college? and i need to make-up for the last time i played beer pong. last time i didn't have enough to drink yet, therefore i sucked. i need a comeback this weekend.

well there's more to my life then that, isn't there? so again, here i am procrastinating going to sleep. this is a trait i've inherited rather well from my mother, procrastinating, that is.

if you want to see some quality comedy, i reccomend going to iTunes Podcasts and search for Dontbethatguy Films. free, and funny. what more could you ask for, except a cold one to go with it? really now, if i'm sounding like an alkie, i need to know.

i really should be writing my english paper

2006-09-28T19:54:00.000-04:00

i have to write this gay-ass english paper on a 'process,' and the 'process' i am choosing to write about is voting. i hate english. so the writing 'process' is not coming along very well. so that's where we get the name/title of my blog. party tonight? i don't know, maybe. last thursday's party at KY was interesting, to say the least. i can't remember if some things happened or i made them up in my mind. not a good feeling. so to further procrastinate i am doing my laundry, which really isn't procrastinating because i've been putting that off for a few days and now i'm getting it done. this weekend -- free concert on the parkway. holler at that.

well fuck this shit, i've got more things to do unfortunately. on a lighter note i don't have to wake up for class until 11 tomorrow if i want, only 3 classes. gotta love it.

ps. i have oregon trail on my computer now and you don't. yea, go 'head, be jealous.

on our way to 2012

Half-way there

the Return of an Era

It's not over

This past year has been, in a word, fabulous. Similar to the end of school last year, this is a blog to commemorate the year. It's interesting to contrast it to the one from last year. I'll start from the beginning.

What are we fighting for?

42nd Street

Feeling Loved

Beach Chair

Dans la ville avec mes amies

I think I've realized my problem

Hands Held High

the End of Another Summer

the Pop Idols

Jael Strauss

oh what the hell

the Art of Sleep

JM Live

Song Choice

Wassup

GEAR!

All I wanted just sped right past me

Bio thought of the day

Well-said, JM

A little ditty about my math exam

Finding myself?

Burdens

Long time no write

Need money?

Reasons why I'm looking forward to summer

Reach out to our senses

Life is a Song

A sign?

Ridiculous already?

i'm breaking down

Bio thought of the day

Two candidates, ever the same

i'm in a bad mood

haaaaaaaaahahah

LOLITA!

Torn

gah money!

Something new to me

spitting image

just a quickie

extinction of the homo sapien?

test 1, 2... test 1, 2, 3...

what could account for my hatred of the male?

i didn't wanna wake up

because i'm a democrat

starting with....

Earth Love

myPod

a little time for reflection

i should be.....what? what?????

i should be studying for finals

*Special Post* - "Apologize" Video

i should be showing this video!

i should be....?????

i should be sleeping (IV)

i should be putting away my laptop

i should be studying for the bio lab exam

i should be doing....nothing for once!

i should be doing pharm orientation hw

i should be sleeping (III)

i should be doing everything else except this

i should be studying for the bio exam

i should be studying for the chem exam

i should be doing chemistry

i should be sleeping (II)

i should be at the nurse

i should be sleeping

i should be studying thermochemistry

i should be studying for my next exam, whenever that is

i should be getting my party on

i should be doing homework

i should be trying to sleep

i really should be writing my english paper

Special Post - "Apologize" Video